Lost in the world of morals

Have you ever said something that seems so ignorant and stupid, and you didn't mean what you said at all, but it just came out. To me, it feels like a mistake that can never be repaired. But it hurts the most when I offend someone that I love, because even though I don't always realize it, their opinion matters more to me than a lot of things. I want them to be proud of me, and see me in a positive light. But when something wrong slips out, it's like there is nothing I can do, and I have to get defensive in order to restore my "perfect" image. In doing this, I make myself seem even worse than before, and I realize I am a complete idiot for ever opening my mouth. I think my other problem is that I am so afraid of making a mistake that when I do it is very difficult for me to forgive myself. I have made a lot of trivial mistakes in the last few months, and although life moves on, I still can't forgive myself. So that is why I try to avoid making mistakes. To create a perfect image of myself, and to never have to struggle with forgiving myself. The only problem with that is sometimes I become so obsessed with trying to never do anything wrong, that I forget how to have fun. I know I am responsible for my actions, but I feel like now is the time for me to relax and make a few mistakes. That way I can learn from them. I make mistakes all the time, and yet I continue to move down a path of self hatred. But then again, sometimes I make a mistake like saying the wrong thing, and I become the very thing I hate. I don't know if any of this makes any sense, but it is so hard for some to forgive themselves, and I am one of those. How do I repair a heart who was damaged by my words? Then, how do I forgive myself for the mistake of ever saying anything? When I make so many mistakes that seem to make others mad, how can I be a good person?